Homesick
Dear Rachel,
I'm home sick today; a nasty cold that I thought I'd managed to kick last week. But it occurs to me that in addition to being home sick, I'm also "homesick." Not for some other place, really. I love Nebraska and I love our old house; there's really nowhere else I'd rather live.
I think what I'm homesick for is that life I used to have, the life we had together. I want that old life back. I want you back.
But I can't have you back, and that's why it just doesn't quite feel as if I'm really home. I'm so happy to be here in Nebraska, to be with Lesley, and to be doing what I do for a living . . . . And yet, it's not quite right. The Earth is skewed, tilted wildly on its axis, and nothing's quite the same any more.
I think that's what upsets the griefstricken so much. We look around and everyone seems to be living their normal lives, and the sun rises and sets, and dogs bark, and kids play in the street. It's as if nothing were wrong. We want to scream, "Damn you people! Don't you see it? Can't you feel it? Don't you know that the Earth is spinning out of control? Don't you even know that the end of the world has come and gone?!"
The world ended, and almost no one noticed.
Love,
Dad
I'm home sick today; a nasty cold that I thought I'd managed to kick last week. But it occurs to me that in addition to being home sick, I'm also "homesick." Not for some other place, really. I love Nebraska and I love our old house; there's really nowhere else I'd rather live.
I think what I'm homesick for is that life I used to have, the life we had together. I want that old life back. I want you back.
But I can't have you back, and that's why it just doesn't quite feel as if I'm really home. I'm so happy to be here in Nebraska, to be with Lesley, and to be doing what I do for a living . . . . And yet, it's not quite right. The Earth is skewed, tilted wildly on its axis, and nothing's quite the same any more.
I think that's what upsets the griefstricken so much. We look around and everyone seems to be living their normal lives, and the sun rises and sets, and dogs bark, and kids play in the street. It's as if nothing were wrong. We want to scream, "Damn you people! Don't you see it? Can't you feel it? Don't you know that the Earth is spinning out of control? Don't you even know that the end of the world has come and gone?!"
The world ended, and almost no one noticed.
Love,
Dad
posted by Rod at 3:36 PM
2 Comments:
I notice Rod.... I didn't know Rachel in person. I only knew her via Les's emails and the pictures she sent me each year of Rachel and Amy and Shaylyn. But even though I didn't know her in person, I really miss her. If that makes any sense. And I understand perfectly what you mean by feeling "homesick" - for her and that other life.
Linda Huson
Rod,
Heatd this song, and thought of your post.
Michael Buble - I wanna go home
Take care,
Eric
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